Olympic Reflections

They're over, and I simply hate it. I need more events, like long-distance curling, ski jumping over cars, cross-country skiing with random wildlife attacks,......SOMETHING!!

I love the fact that the Olympics are every 2 years now, instead of happening with the regularity of leap year. People whom we've never known become our new heroes, with stories of obstacles overcome and odds triumphed over. They're our heroes, they appear on Jay Leno, then they politely disappear into the ether of athletic lore, with only grainy highlights to remind us of them. True, they might do an Old Spice commercial or get a DUI down the road, but they pretty much vanish until the next Olympics.

Although I don't care about most of the events, I watch them anyway and feel a tug of patriotism when we show the communists who's still the boss. I sit on the edge of my chair while the ladie's figure skaters try to pull off a quadruple, super-duper, spread eagle whatever and my heart goes out to them when they accidently do the splits and quickly get back on their feet, hoping through fake smiles and real tears that nobody noticed. (By the way, what's the difference between a triple axel, a triple sow cow, a triple lutz, a triple toe loop and a triple scoop of fudge monkey ripple on a sugar cone?!?!) All this being said, though, I HATE MEN'S FIGURE SKATING!!!! Johnny Weir in a chinchilla tutu and mink bra is frightening!

Once in awhile, I even cheer for another country and hope they do well, as their story is so compelling I can't help but pull for them. Joannie Rochette, the Canadian figure skater who bravely persevered through her mom's death a couple day's earlier to win Bronze. The 57-year old Mexican downhill skier who just had fun and finished almost a minute behind the leaders. The European cross-country skier, who's legally blind and has only peripheral vision as he treks rapidly through 50 kilometers of mountainous terrain. If you don't pull for these people, you're just not human. Thank you Morgan Freeman for pointing out their stories, even though VISA paid you to tell us!

So, as I fall asleep to curling for the last night and quietly wonder in my dreams how the hell short track figure skating relays keep track of who's going next, I bid adieu to these two weeks of athletic spectacle and look forward to the next one. The celebration of brotherhood, peace, kindness, triumph of the spirit, soaring of our souls,...........AND WINNING THE MEDAL COUNT!!