Growing Up Too Quick

My littlest girl is closing in on 16 years old. The summers of "Daddy, can I walk across the street to get ice cream?" and "Can I ride my bike down to Subway?" will soon be replaced by requests for car keys and young men I secretly loathe coming to pick her up for her first dates. Often times I pause to thank God for the honor of being blessed with the gorgeous daughters my wife and I have,....gorgeous not only in their physical appearance, but in their hearts and intentions as well. Far from perfect,.....filled with human frailties,....but gorgeous nonetheless.

I remember the strangest little things about my youngest. A two-year old running naked through the house laughing after her bath,.......a three-year old biting her big sister's arm because she didn't want her hand held crossing the street, the pillowcase that for years was her protection from thunderstorms,......the 3rd grader who walked onstage to sing in choir and waved at us from the stage while we smiled,...and smiled,...and smiled.

I barely recognize the wondrous things she now becomes. She's a rapidly improving high school swimmer, an accomplished viola player, and an avid reader of novels. She and her sister excelled at their first attempts at professional modeling, and looked like lovely and classy 20-year olds in a nationally circulated catalog for choir costuming. With a true flair for fashion, make-up, and style, she's learning to handle herself as a graceful, and still humble, young lady.

I'm SO glad that some things haven't changed, though. She still has my silly sense of humor, gets scared and excited by big rollercoasters, still loves having sleepovers with her best buddies, and still has a little girl's sweetness at heart. I love watching her grow up,.......and I HATE it with all my heart.

Why is being a parent so conflicting? We want them to become mature, productive and responsible adults, yet we always want them to be mommy's little girl and daddy's little duchess. As parents, we train them to become self-reliant, yet die a little inside each time they don't need our guidance and advice. It's as if they'll somehow forget us,........will they?

My brain says of course not, and I truly believe my brain in this case. But, you know what, that little seed of doubt that grits like a grain of sand in my teeth, fears it happening. And I pray,..and pray,.. and pray,....that there'll always be a part of them that wants us, needs us, seeks us, and longs to stay close. Please.